All praise is due to Allah and may peace and blessings be upon the messenger of Allah.
To proceed:
This question was posed to the noble scholar Sheikh Falaah Ibn Ismaeel Mundkaar in a question and answer session at the Birmingham Winter Conference and below is the text of the question as follows:
Questioner asked: If I see a sister in the street that I admire, is it permissible to ask her for the phone number of her mahram?
The Sheikh may Allah preserve him answered:
All praise be to Allah, No doubt that this sighting that was in the street and this glance that impressed you or that which has impressed you from it in the street, No doubt O’ slave of Allah that you have verily been impressed by her image, you do not know her truly, you do not know who she is, you do not know her mannerisms or her behaviour, you are impressed perhaps by the colour of her dress or by the fashion- I don’t know what they say! or by her image and form/shape and her beauty and complexion, and we say by Allah the advise is that the matter is not as such, no doubt, the principle is what has been recommended by the Prophet peace and blessings be upon Him as he said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may your prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466.
And this is not seen in the street ever for this we have an expression amongst the common people and those of old age because we have principles, you would like to get married, the family, the women, the next of kin, they are the one who contact (the other family) and inform you, “there is such and such come and see her” the ways/methods are known (So enter houses through their proper doors, and fear Allah that you may be successful.) Surah Al Baqarah 2:189.
The doors come with the houses and every path has doors and has ways. As for entering from the window and entering from elsewhere and exiting from the window, the windows is sometimes raised, you leap and injure yourself.
This story has a resemblance with this glance in the street…
Our Imaam, Imam Ahlul Sunnah Ahmad Ibn Hanbal- may Allah have mercy on him was approached by a woman on the road, she came asking so Ahmad became alone in order to hear the question alone away from the students that were accompanying him- so she asked the question and then left, he answered her, then he said to his son Abdullah “Follow her and look to which house she will enter” go attain the address, her right is that you do not say to her give me your address!
He sent his son Abdullah and said “follow her” Yes but with manners and good behaviour, and see which house she goes into, when Abdullah returned he said “O father, she entered into Bishri Ibn Alhariths house”, He said Allahu Akbar “from that house piety/righteousness comes out”.
What is it that Ahmad admired so much O brothers? With a question, a strange question, a question that revealed something about religion, manners and steadfastness –as we stated yesterday- for this he was fascinated, what and how was this question supposedly with regards to Ahmad that this question presumably was from the time of the Salaf as-Salih.
So what should we say in our time O brothers?! When he gained knowledge that she entered into the house of Al Harith he sent his family and they proposed and married her off to his son! This is the way! This is the way O slave of Allah!
Of course you know what the question was, what was the question that evoked and made the Imam aware of this great woman. The woman asked “O Imam, father of Abdullah may Allah have mercy on you Indeed I am woman who threads so I thread until the night before I put my spinner down. At times the authorities come and with them is an oil lamp, so I get to my threading taking advantage of this time when there is light, is this permissible for me?” La ilaha Illa Allah, meaning is it permissible for me to take advantage of this light. In actuality who does this light belong to? The authorities, the basis is the authorities are oppressors, so I use this product from the oppressors and place it in my place of threading, so Ahmad paused, what is this question, this question holds great stature, it has passed the fiqh stage and entered into the stage of piety/righteousness.
So Ahmad paused for a short while, of course it is permissible, the answer with regards to fiqh is that it is permissible, but what did Ahmad say? Ahmad said “No O slave woman, do not carry out” Abdullah Ibn Ahmad said to his father “why father?”
Why did you say it is impermissible for her even though the principle is permissible? He said “did you not grasp her question? The magnitude of the answer equals the magnitude of the question”. It is a profound question in righteousness and deserves an answer in relation to the aspect of piety and not from the issues of halaal and haraam. It is a stage much higher, so he was impressed by her and sent after her, gained knowledge of her residence then married her to his son may Allah bestow mercy upon them all O brothers.
So if you see in the street and you admire her religion and for her devotion to the religion then good, however if she wore a red dress and it was that image which attracted you to her then we say No, No do not do it, leave it by way of the matters and the families and the next of kin for this is more commendable.
In addition, we say and this is the secondary issue pertaining to this age, this first glance that you took and impressed you, know that many of the women use makeup and methods to beautify themselves so you see a picture, and it is lost at home when she washes her face, makes wud’u and you see her, I say to you “Fear Allah” you don’t see her in her original state and you may regret it later.
Translated By:
Abu Omer.
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